Ok so after almost 3 years of joblessness in Sweden, we took the decision to move to England, the plan is simple, I shall leave for England and after I have managed to find a job and earn enough money to survive they will eventually follow. This must be one of the most painful things I have ever undertaken!
It feels the only way to cope is to try to push it to the back of the mind but as it is life, it’s not so simple. We take all these things and beings for granted because they are there everyday and we don’t appreciate them like we should, because we are blinded by our own stupidity and it takes something extreme to make us realise what we have and lost.
So here I am, 6 days into my life experiment in England, it is not certain if this will succeed, there is a very large chance I may end up returning, whether it be a different city, country or planet that is where my home will be, with them. Now this is my second attempt
at this, the first time I returned after 7 days, it was too painful, this time I knew what pain I would feel, I was ready for it, I can’t say prepared because you can’t ever be prepared for that sort of transition.
Even though I was born and raised in this country, It is no longer my home, of course things can change but as it is, England is a strange country to me, although I understand it like no other, my heart is in Sweden, even though life wasn’t great there, it was home long enough to condition the brain.
I will carry on with this painful journey, and see where it brings me, so far I haven’t found the yellow brick road but I will keep seeking.
There nothing better than the man with a van banging at your door at 9am with a gigantic box filled with goodies!!
It’s mostly junk food but hey it’s Xmas so it’s aloud right? But anyway moving away from the diabetics dream I bagged myself a rather tidy jumper from a luxurious upperclass store famously name Primarni or should I say Primark.
The shop that makes you want to cry into your mummy’s bussom it’s so flipping cheap, why is it so cheap? Of course I didn’t find this here in Sverige, hell no, with these prices here you would get trampled on in a very non violent way, almost like been trampled on by soft duck feathered pillows with tiny feet.
My mother was kind enough to do the shopping for us and she picked up this lovely jumper, this is the 3rd jumper I own, I’m poor so don’t judge.
Ok so I’ve been naughty lately, I fingered my ear holes! And yes my finger is smaller than my elbow 🙁
Here is the story, I suffer incredibly from over production of earwax, it’s genetic, my entire family on my father side has to have there ears cleaned out at the nurses office annually. Your ears clean themselves so there really isn’t a reason to clean them unless you have overproduction which might lead to a blockage and obviously temporary hearing loss.
So that means no fingers, ear buds, tooth picks, ear candles, a pen and whatever else you have the urge to stick in there. I’ve successfully followed these rules until recently I’ve had the itchiest ears imaginable, is it too much wax causing it? I don’t know! But hell my ears are hurting, burning and itching like crazy now all because I broke the rules and stuck my dirty fingers in my ears. I’m sad and I’m popping ibuprofen, please work!!! Maybe an infection? I should most definitely know by tomorrow.
Anyway here is a sad hipster shot of my meal, you know you got nothing better to post when you post your meal :p
I am lost, lost in the vast warped land of nowhere, the abyss, the not knowing who where what and why! This may be an overstatement of my every minute reflection on life but this is how I feel with the in-laws. It is the lost in translation parody, there is a major language barrier, not that they can’t speak any English but more of the fact that it’s easier not to bother and most likely the zero things we have in common, but then again how do you know this if you don’t talk with one another!
Obviously for any relationship to progress you need to communicate and to communicate you need to be able to speak a mutual language and this just doesn’t happen, so it’s more of a swooping in and out of rooms to avoid the fustratuon of not understanding things and sure I understand something’s and can laugh along which gives me some feeling of normality but it soon spirals into a dark social pit of doom.
I shall be stood there feeling like a fool for living amongst it and doing nothin, it’s of my own doings, it’s my responsibility to learn but that’s how life goes, things get in the way and sense of time diminishes along with all the insidious nightmares of the past…
Anyway here is literally my POV when the in-laws make an appearance, it’s a pretty close example of the way I feel at the time too, pushed out and excluded, not in any malicious way but this is what happens when you don’t understand a language!
The days are getting darker, summer is so over, it’s finito so put your raybans away, your incredibly short shorts, your dumb fucking tank tops and embrace the darkness, winter is coming!
But unfortunately I’m sick, I have a cold and my throat feels likes it’s endured a full blown jihadist attack, I have these disgusting tonsil stones shoved right in my,,, tonsils and jeez I never had anything like it but when you google it there is a whole world of tonsil stone miners out there just going deep throat with cotton buds and just uploading that shit to youtube, I mean wtf is wrong with the world mama?
And this cough, fuck me! If there is ever a time I want to beat my self over the head it’s now, it’s tickling like a mother lover, I don’t actually understand how I haven’t been suffocated in the night. It’s just one of those really irritating coughs that not only bug the hell out of yourself but everyone else around you! And with lack of meds to ease it I’m snookered!!!
Anyway I don’t have any pretty pictures prepared for you, but I’m sick so here is a giffy for your wiffy!!!